You've been on a Date With Eight and had a really nice time, but you don’t think there was anyone who set your heart aflutter. The next day, you receive a message from someone of the opposite sex who was also on the same group date.
" Hey, I had a really great time last night. Wasn't the venue great? I thought you and I got along really well so was wondering if you would you like to meet for a drink, or since we both like tennis, maybe we could have a game sometime soon? No pressure, but it would be nice to see you again."
Date With Eight is less about the match-making algorithm and more about providing worthwhile experiences for you to meet like-minded singles so yes, it’s possible you’ll meet people who you don’t instantly ‘spark’ with. So what do you do?
A one-on-one date?
Definitely consider meeting up for a casual 1-1 date. The great thing about a Date With Eight group date is that you get to make introductions with new singles whom you might end up clicking with, but an instant ‘spark’ might not be as obvious within a group setting, especially if you didn’t get to spend much time chatting with them. Rather than brushing someone off immediately, it might be worth meeting up to explore whether friendship or even a relationship is on the cards. Also, now that you’ve met at a group date, the second meeting is more likely to be even more relaxed where you can both show your true selves.
You’ve actually met this person already and they’ve plucked up the courage to ask you out for a 1-1, so keep that in mind; they’re not just a profile picture you can swipe left on. In any case, if you really don’t fancy meeting them again, honesty really is the best policy. These days it’s acceptable to let someone down over a text. Keep your reply, short and to the point. No need to go into a deep and meaningful.
“Hey, it was really nice to meet you but I’m going to politely decline. We did have a good chat, but that spark I’m looking for, didn’t quite happen between us. Wishing you all the best.”
Whatever you do, don’t ‘ghost’ them or agree to meet, only to continually postpone. You might think that you’re sparing someone’s feelings, but really all you’re sparing is yourself having to say “no". Being honest straight away will also mean you avoid any awkward conversation if you accidentally bump into them in the supermarket later down the track.
‘Sparks’ don’t always fly from the instant you meet someone and it’s possible chemistry will develop over the course of a few dates. Online dating has changed the way people are instantly ‘liked’ or dismissed so remember, in the real world it’s often worth giving someone a chance… and if not, then yes, honesty is always the best policy.